i stopped writing these entries, deleted every post.
it was when i felt so fucking empty i couldn't even get up and do anything.
now i'm writing again.
i'm tired of hate, coming from myself towards other people. my agressive thoughts can kill. i don't want to hate anybody.
maybe every day in psychological loneliness makes me so fucking agressive. there are a lot of people around me, but anyway i feel so damn strange now, as if i've been in paroxyzm for 20 hours.
but i can't make myself feel better.
i don't take drugs now.
everything has changed.
but when i come here, i feel like i've returned to the very dear place, but the only thing about it that i can see - it is dead. forgotten. abandoned.
but if i open the door, i will find a lot of old memories and emotions.
Simonas, when you read this.. i want to say. last days i miss you very much. i'm neither drunk, nor high.
i know, it  had to end, but ... i still remember everything good what we had.